Being married is an adventure. Anyone that tells you differently has either never been married or are delusional. I have known my husband for 2/3 of my life and there are still times that I learn something from him, about him or from the simple act of marriage.

1. Men and women are different. I came from a house full of men and was shocked how little I actually understood about them. Men and women process information differently, look at things differently and even value things at a different level.

2. Flirting is healthy for the relationship but keep it in the marriage relationship. Sit across the room from each other and flirt with each other like you did when you were courting.

3. There is no way I can ever change my spouse. Accept it, embrace it and just move on from there.

4. People are different. My husband and I have different ways of doing things that often go against the "normal male/female" style. Each of us has a unique personality.

5. Yelling is not an effective form of communication. It doesn’t matter if you are simply yelling from one room to the next. Yelling tends to amp up the tone of the words and misunderstandings happen more often.

6. Words may mean exactly what those words are meant to say. OR Words may have no meaning what so ever. OR Words can mean what they say but still have an edge directed by non-verbal signals. Communication can be messy.

7. Dividing jobs around the house is a good idea but expect to still do it all yourself and you won’t have to argue over who does what.

8. Men can be good at cleaning and women can be good at yard work. Forget what "they" say and find your own path.

9. The couple that plays together stays together. Find things that you can enjoy doing together and make a point to do it regularly (watching television or movies does NOT count).

10. Treat every day like Christmas. People think of giving and being nice and doing special things at Christmas time. Carry that feeling all through the year and you will build a strong marriage.

11. No matter what others may say, you are not marrying the family. You marry your spouse. The sooner you both learn that your union must be the final factor and not mom, dad, brother, sister or any other relative then the sooner you will build a bond to face the world.

12. Marriage must be a three cord strand – you, your spouse and God – if it is to stay intact against the pressures of life.

A good marriage takes work, patience, understanding and a focus on something outside of self. The more of all those ingredients you are willing to pour into the marriage then the more that marriage will be able to grow, prosper and bloom.